Reply to No kids weddings rant

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "No kids weddings rant"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love kids at weddings. Had tons of kids at ours, love seeing them at others. (Actually, I hate weddings, so kids are the best part ...)

My cousin is getting married this summer in our hometown but he scheduled the wedding for late enough that my 2 and 5 year olds can't go. Well, the 5 year old might make it, but no way on the 2 year old. It's his prerogative and he can do what he wants, and he did not expressly say no kids, but I am not the only one a tad miffed. Literally everyone else in the family has kids 6 and under, including his own sister. He is the youngest cousin and the last to be married. We will probably wind up leaving the kids with my inlaws several hours away, but it's a shame because if we brought them they could see their cousins and my grandparents, who are 92 and don't get out much. But if we bring them we have to find sitters for multiple days for all the non-kid-friendly wedding events (late rehearsal dinner, wedding, brunch at non-kid-friendly restaurant, etc).

Obviously this is my own problem and I wouldn't say anything. Still, I am not the only one who wishes someone had told him to take this into consideration. It's why we scheduled our own wedding for 4 pm, because when I got married 10 years ago it was my cousins on the other side with young kids and we wanted to be sensitive to that. For us, weddings, bar mitzvahs, etc are all about family. Well, except for this one cousin![/quote]

Not everyone wants a lame brunch wedding or a boring early evening wedding. [/quote]

And they can have whatever they want. I quite enjoyed my boring early evening wedding in which no one got shitfaced and there was a fantastic klezmer band, lots of dancing kids, and the joyful union of two families. It's been 10 years and my parents still happily host my inlaws and my sister's inlaws for all holidays. And their dogs, too. :)

Just saying, against our family background, my cousin is the one being a bit of a douche. (Same cousin who was literally the only family member -- out of 60 people -- not to attend my grandfather's 90th birthday weekend. DH and I drove 2 days with a 3 year old and a 4 month old. Cousin's sister and her fiance flew in from CA. Cousin couldn't make it because he decided to attend a bachelor party instead. He's a nice guy but at 32 he still acts like college kid.)[/quote]

Actually? You're the douche. Everyone can choose how they want to live their own damn life. You prioritize family--that's great; so do I. We have that in common. But--stay with me, now, I know this is hard for you to grasp--People Are Different From You. Some people just aren't that "into" family stuff. And yet, they're still full adults who still get to fully shape their own damn lives.

My brother's just not that into family stuff. As I am one of the very few people who respects and appreciates him anyway, and doesn't guilt-trip and hound and pester him all the time, I'm one of the very few family members he makes an effort with and stays connected with. I don't try to "figure him out" or make him conform to what I think adulthood looks like or should be. And as a result, I reap the benefits of the time and connections he is willing to make. When I see him, great! When I don't, fine, hope all is well.

Life for other people doesn't look like what you think it has to look life. I guess that's a lesson you didn't grasp as a "college kid," or beyond. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics