Reply to Is it ok to host a birthday party but only ask a few of the kids to sleep over?

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Reply to "Is it ok to host a birthday party but only ask a few of the kids to sleep over?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

This does not feel kind.[/quote]

This. all the talk of resilience or understanding concepts of close vs.casual friends and all of that is really irrelevant- you ask a question like this one because something about it seems, well, possibly shitty, or at the least. feels unkind. Why put that out there? Enough bullshit in the world,  even the world of middle schoolers, no need to add. [/quote]

It's not unkind. I don't know what's so special about sleepovers on DCUM. By middle school only some kids want to stay over after the party. They have sports in the morning or sleepovers with their own friends, not the friend whose party they attended. No way those 12 girls are equally close and some would not want to stay. I don't even understand why is that part of the party. [/quote]

Maybe you could give the kids an opportunity to say no then?  Nothing is special about sleepovers.  The point that you are missing is that the party has two parts..the cake/activity and the sleepover part.  If you can't have 12 girls sleep over fine just invite the six you can handle. It is unkind because you are telling the non sleep over girls [b]you are not good enough for the rest of the party.[/b] How can you not see that?[/quote]

The only people saying the other girls aren't good enough are the people on this thread.  If the girls aren't invited at all, I assume then they aren't good enough to be invited either?  This generation is in serious trouble because their parents teach them to interpret everything as an affront.  Thankfully it seems OP has extracted herself from this thread.   [/quote]

NP. It's the difference between happenstance or casual sorting out and deliberate choice to visibly exclude.

Once you invite someone, you indicate you thought about them and considered their company. Then you asked them to leave, deliberately. It's less of a specific singling out if you asked a large proportion to leave, or if you all left one location and a few kids went to a separate event (house sleepover) at a different location. But when you ask a relatively small proportion of girls to walk out of a room when others are staying and having fun, then yeah, that's singling out, and it's mean. You can still do it, but you aren't being a good or kind person, and you aren't teaching your child to be, either.[/quote]

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