Reply to S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If someone is talking about something I have no interest in, like movies I haven't seen, then I will have nothing to say. Extroverts can be talking a lot but saying little (lots of hot air like "Oh WOW!" ..."That's wonderful".... "It REALLY is."...). I don't want to parrot back what someone else just said but with more syrupy adjectives, extra adverbs, and intonation in my voice.  It just seems phony to me and I can't physically muster the energy to talk like that.

Talking is like public speaking. You are supposed to know your audience.  Does OP even know much about this person or what she is interested in? [/quote]

The s is the OP and I really, truly appreciate this post because of the perspective.  
—if someone is talking about something I have no interest in, like a movie I have not seen, I do my best to find something sincerely interesting or relatable about it. I think it’s downright rude to tune it out. 
—I’ll definitely give some intonation and adjectives, for example if a friend is complaining about something at work.  Maybe it’s not fascinating to me, but I’ll try to be enthusiastic and relate.  Is it tiring? Sure, but that person wants validation for her story, and I think part of “carrying the conversation burden” is to listen and give some support.  
—I don’t think conversayion is like public speaking. You are not my “audience”.  I am not here to entertain you and throw out topics or questions in the hope that you will feel sufficiently energized to engage. Conversation is a two way street.  [/quote]

Introvert here, and I want to ask about your second point.  I have been told that I don’t carry the burden of conversation before.  I don’t think your point here really speaks to that.  I am a great listener.  I am a therapist by nature and by profession.  And if someone told me a story about a problem they were struggling with at work, I would almost always find it interesting, and I wouldn’t have to fake it.  That is not small talk.  
When I hear about the burden of conversation, it’s almost always about talking more, not listening and validating.  You said in your OP that she didn’t share antidotes and make herself vulnerable.  But I find that when I do it that, everyone at the table is only feigning interest and seems to be waiting for me to be done.  So I stay quiet.  But then I am not taking on my share of the conversation.  I find it very frustrating.  
I will say that I really enjoy one on one conversation where both parties legitimately care about the other person.  [/quote]

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