Reply to Told the wife she has no right to demand an answer...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

what exactly did he try? what behavior modifications? what verbal modifications?  what did he actually do?

Show me. [/quote]

Tell him what he should do. The problem with him giving specifics is that it just invites critics to tell him he's doing it wrong. The goalposts always move. If someone gives him a list of things he ought to be doing, he can tell us whether he's been doing those things or not. (And, you know, ultimately none of our opinions matter. He could be doing everything right and just not reaching his spouse for whatever reasons that are particular to her. Other marriages are huge successes even though one or both of the spouses are doing everything wrong.)[/quote]

No one is ever doing everything right because no one is perfect. When OPs offer only positive specifics and refuse to acknowledge anything they could do better, they either are being dishonest or are utterly lacking in self-awareness.[/quote]

Do you or do you not believe sex is an important part of marriage? 
- not OP[/quote]

That's pretty obvious "gotcha" bait. Please explain how your question is relevant to what I said and not an attempt to derail it or twist it into something it's not.[/quote]

Why are you so angry?  Why are you taking this so personally?

OP's wife has had sex with him once a year for 5 years.  By what's been described, he seems like a good partner and husband.  So why are you placing all blame on him and none on her?   Your insistence on attacking him and insisting that there must be something HE'S doing wrong is odd.  Her withholding sex is causing major issues in their marriage and I think he has a right to be upset about that.[/quote]

[b]Im not angry, just not stupid enough to fall for your low-rent "trick."[/b] Based on what I posted above, obviously I don't think his wife is blameless either.  If she's not here asking for feedback, so I can't talk to her and her own role in the relationship, nor do we know her side. I can only talk to OP about his own role, which he has now acknowledged is also not Pete the but won't discuss candidly. I can't give advice to someone who's not telling us even his full side story, let alone acknowledging what his wife's side might be (or perhaps his lack of knowledge of what it might be).[/quote]

I dont know what this means.   He's acknowledged fault.   You obviously think OP's wife is within her rights to withhold sex for 5 years without consequence.  I disagree and like a PP, I think he should explain exactly what he's written here and gauge her response.  Then he makes a decision with as much info as he can glean.[/quote]

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