Reply to my wife's thin skin

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP.  Your issues large stem from conversational differences that set you guys up behind the eight ball before you even start a discussion.  You have different ways of communicating and you have to learn to compromise and speak in ways that will make your partner more receptive to what you have to say. [/quote]

I hope you are right. That is, I hope the problems arise from conversational differences. If so, I think we can solve our problems.

I wonder, though, if for some issues my wife simply can't reason her way through. She sometimes leaps from A to Z, and I'm unable to trace the thought process that falls in the middle. When I ask "can you explain why you feel that way?" she is sometimes unable. She can't explain how or why she reached her own conclusions. There have been odd lapses in judgment now and then which suggests that no real thinking is taking place ... kind of like a teenager who doesn't look before they leap. This makes me nervous, because when a parent is responsible for a child's life, the parent MUST look before they leap.
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For everyone wondering why people are calling OP hypercritical or saying the advice would be different if it were a woman asking: here he gets concrete advice about communications strategies and pivots directly to "but what if she's simply too stupid and immature to communicate with?"

What a patient, long-suffering husband!   :roll:   [/quote]

No, that isn't what I wrote. It isn't a question of intelligence. Had I questioned my wife's intelligence, I would have mentioned that in my original post.   [/quote]

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Saying someone "can't reason" is calling them unintelligent.  But color me shocked that you're trying to argue and prove you're right and didn't say anything awful about your wife, when the truth is there in black and white.  Tell us more about how she's crazy to not want to discuss things with you!  [/quote]

Again, that isn't what I wrote.

A person might experience road rage, and they aren't reasoning during that momentary lapse of judgment. Because if they were to reason their way through it, they would quickly realize that they are taking an insane gamble without any chance of a positive outcome.

An alcoholic might not reason when they reach for the bottle.

An angry employee might not reason in the moment that they yell at their co-worker or their boss.

There individuals could be highly intelligent despite the fact they acted stupidly or without thinking.
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My wife is intelligent. I wouldn't have married her otherwise.

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