Reply to Question for Women - Dating advice for 51 year old man.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Didn’t think this would stick around as a topic.  I found this very informative.  Great advice.  Thank you.  I feel much better at my dating future.  While divorce is a financial drain, I am coming out of it in decent shape with no long term obligations.  I am in good shape, in the upper half of the room or better on the attractive side and I am not dick.  That had to count for something.  In addition to some of the specific advice, the main thing I am taking away from this is that I need to get comfortable with rejection and take a shot.   While I personally don’t want to pursue someone that is clearly in their 20s, I am sure I will approach someone that turns out to be in their 30s.  I guess at that point it is up to them.  Thanks again for all the advice and I will keep reading.[/quote]

Would love to hear back from OP if any of this advice helps.  There was a post a few pages back with 9 different points that I thought was fairly accurate other than maybe the book reference (haven’t read it).  I’m in a relationship so not doing the online dating however my friends in their mid-40’s have echoed almost verbatim the things about profile pictures, messaging that isn’t some in depth novel but doesn’t seem like a form email either, not texting for weeks on end without planning a meetup to see if there is chemistry and conversation, perception of the age range etc.

As for being comfortable with rejection and taking the shot - it is not going to work out with everyone you meet or message - more likely you hit it off with someone but she isn’t interested or she is interested in you but you aren’t feeling it.  You don’t need everyone to fall for you (though that would be a great ego boost) you just need the one that you like to feel the same way about you and hopefully find out over time that you are compatible in the things important to each of you. That’s both the frustration of dating and the magic when it works out.  Also keep your eye out for in person ways to meet new people.   My friends have met their post-divorced significant other via get togethers with friends, thru co-workers, someone they’ve known for awhile, randomly at an airport when flight was delayed, as well as online dating.  Online dating offers more opportunities to go out on dates but I would say out of 8 divorced friends, maybe 20-25% met the long term relationship that way even though almost all were using online dating.[/quote]

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