Reply to Planning to leave my husband once our youngest starts college

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I know he would fight me on the money (as that's really all he cares about in life) and I don't to go through some long drawn out battle. He has occasionally made "jokes" that the reason we are not divorced is that it would be too expensive for him. Hardy har har.

I also feel like it would prevent him from having a reason to bad mouth me to people. If I just leave on my own and take nothing, he has no right to complain to anyone.[/quote]

You're prepared to kill yourself, literally (sick people with no money die, OP), just so he can't make comments, and just so people don't gossip about you?

Your head is not screwed on the right way. You refuse to do the hard job, which is to EARN RESPECT.
[/quote]

I feel that not taking anything with me would be the biggest F*CK YOU I could ever give him. But you'd have to know us to understand. He has this image of me in his head that is not accurate - that I am a silly shallow spendthrift who is obsessed with having the "right" expensive furniture and clothing and jewelry and CC membership, etc. etc. And yet if you asked him, he would tell you we have a 9/10 or 10/10 marriage. I know this because I have asked him before. He thinks everything is great even though he has such a low opinion of me. I[b]t's just part of his patriarchal view of life. [/b]He makes dumb jokes about "wife math" and "divorce being too expensive" and honestly thinks they are funny when they're obviously offensive and insulting. But it's not even really about the money per se, it's about control. I had to push very hard to get the job that I have now. He kept saying he didn't understand why I'd want to work when we obviously don't need the money. Because I am planning to leave you, you ignorant ass.

Leaving everything behind, including the money, without a backwards glance would make him rethink every single thing about our marriage.

The truth is I don't feel a strong connection to any of that stuff. It's just stuff and I don't even want it anymore. I can't remember why I ever wanted it in the first place anymore.[/quote]

You lost me here? Explain how the patriarchy is oppressing you as you obsess over expensive furniture and clothing and jewelry and CC membership, etc.etc. Your kids are leaving and you are adrift in the world. Seriously you may be mentally ill right now. Maybe you should try to seek out professional help. [/quote]

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