Reply to Just don't really care

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Just don't really care"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you have to think hard about how long you can live like this and if you will ever be willing to divorce or sex.

When I met DW it was sex all the time. Sometime after our first child was born, it slowed down. When she told me she was pregnant for our second child I was shocked because we had not talked about planning to have a second child and we had sex so infrequently I had to do some math in my head to think if it could be mine.

After second child sex stopped. During this time I would say I was doing my share. DW was SAH, I would get up at night during both our kids infant years to feed them and change them at night, slept in spare room to insure she could get a full nights sleep. Her mother lived near by and was around 3-4 days a week to help her.

Every time I tried to initiate I was shot down. I tried to talk it out and she would cry and say she wasn't good enough. I would try to just cuddle and if I got an erection she would get mad and pull away. Even when cuddling it was us lying together me rubbing her shoulders or back and if I was lucky her laying her arm over me. 
One time she said she was overwhelmed with the work in the house and watching two kids so I also started cleaning the floors doing the dishes more laundry, nothing changed, except that if I initiated she would say I only did those things to get sex. Tried to take her away for 4 days, she said I hope I don't expect sex. One time she saw me come out of the shower and I was naked and the look on her face was total disgust. After that I would make sure I always covered with a towel and got dressed in the closet to avoid ever seeing that look again

After years of sex maybe for my birthday or anniversary  and me trying to talk about it or write a letter to her about it, all of which ended as her getting upset. The last one ended up in a huge argument with her saying she never liked sex and only did it so I would like her.  I had enough told her I could not live this way anymore and was going to come home the following day pack my things up and leave. I sat in the driveway the following day sick to my stomach. When I walked inside she said she wanted to talk. Told me I was right, for the last 5 years now I can say she seems enthusiastic about sex and we have it typically 2x a week

Sorry for going on so long. But hat was my experience and what I did to save the marriage to someone I truly loved [/quote]

NP.  Good message PP.  Glad it finally worked out, even if it was on the absolute brink of collapse.

To the OP: I'd really suggest insisting on couples therapy now with your wife.  You've tried talking to her like PP did, and she rejected that.  A good therapist can get her to talk about it and work toward progress.  If she refuses to even try therapy, then you ought to give the ultimatum IMHO.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics