Reply to How to handle: ILs just let themselves in, unannounced

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m curious if all the people who are ok with the inlaws letting themselves in without giving their son and dil a heads up first would do this to someone whose key they possess. If you had your adult child and their family’s house key, would you let yourself in for a few hours without notifying them first? What if you had the neighbor’s key and you needed to borrow some sugar for a special dessert and you didnt have time to run to the store, but the neighbor isn’t home? You’re obviously close if you have their key, right? Where’s the line?[/quote]

I think the difference is that OP was expecting a visit albeit at a later time that day.  I thought from the title the in-laws lived down the road and just stopped in without the Op knowing they were going to be by at all.

What kind of emergency does OP imagine her in-laws would drive 4 hours to get into their home and neither OP or DH would be able to let them in or meet them to give them a guest key?[/quote]

NP. Oh, come on. Shit happens. It doesn't hurt to have a few people who are very close to you have keys. I have keys to my sister's house, and she's 3 hours away. But I would never, ever use that key if it wasn't an emergency, or without her prior knowledge.

Common. Courtesy.[/quote]

[b]I’m still waiting to hear what constitutes an emergency? [/b] Prior knowledge I agree.  But if the emergency key is only if they are both hospitalized so no one can let them in to bring the kids to the house then that needs to be clear.  Otherwise it’s really a matter of prior knowledge and agreement not a real emergency.[/quote]

OK, here you go:

1) Car accident where both parents are hurt, but kids in the back are OK. Grandparents come to take care of the kids in the kids' own house while mom and dad are recovering at the hospital.

2) Family is on vacation. Hurricane comes through and hits their area hard (like the one that hit Annapolis in recent memory). "Mom and Dad, we won't be back for another 5 days; could you go and check out the house?"

3) Whole family is killed in car accident. Mom and Dad come down to start dealing with funeral planning, finding wills, making arrangements to clear out and sell their house.

It took me 20 seconds to come up with three emergency scenarios. You must not have a very good imagination. You must not be very resourceful.

There ya go!

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