Reply to Is it possible to cheat and not get caught?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife cheated on me over five years ago and I still feel horrible. I was shamed and embarrassed -even by the marriage counselor. The focus was on my wife's feelings. If I said something it was just my ego talking and I needed to talk with a therapist because it was silly. I already hated myself, but now more than ever before.

If it wasn't for having a kid, taking my own life would be more of an option than before.

All I ask is that you think about what you are doing. Some people really take marriage seriously and this can be devistaving. They may react better than I do, but it's a possibility they will not. You might have a dead spouse on your hands. [/quote]

You cannot blame your thoughts of suicide on your cheating spouse. Get some help now. Life is tough, you need to develop mechanisms to help you deal with it.[/quote]

Totally missed the point. I know that my reaction is extreme and unhealthy. Just realize that you don't know how people will react.  There are plenty of others that are more fragile than I am. Just don't cheat. If you have to move on then do so. Just try not to be cruel.  [/quote]

My ex wife and I entered counseling because we were constantly fighting. Every single night was a huge argument. At the time we had three kids under 7, I'd just been made Director at work (which entailed insane hours), and my wife was traveling constantly. I assumed this was just all those resistors coming to head, but, lo and behold, during counseling my wife admitted to sleeping with her ex bf 'a few times.' I never got an honest answer to what that meant and the therapist stated that it was 'irrelevant' for me to know). I was completely blind sided. Literally, my life fell apart in an office in Arlington while I sat on a couch. Surprisingly, my wife wanted to work things out. I agreed to more sessions mostly out of shell shock. In the next two or three sessions the therapist blamed me for my wife's affair. I wasn't as understanding as her bf was about how tough this stage of life is, etc. Like, I wasn't living it too. It was surreal. I couldn't believe this therapist had a license.

Anyway, thats years ago and I don't care anymore. Hang in there buddy. There are decent people out there.[/quote]

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