Reply to Why is dating so hard once you hit 40?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
She wants a guy who will accept being fourth (after her kids, her job, and "doing things I enjoy") plus she doesn't want to pay any attention to his kids. Good luck with that.[/quote]

3rd is more like it.  He would come after my kids and my job.  But hopefully, the things I enjoy doing would be similar to the things he enjoys doing.  It would be great to do something together on date night, get a bite to eat, and then head to one of our homes.  This probably falls under the values category, but I wouldn't want to date a man that doesn't put his kids before a new relationship or asks me to do so.  The job thing is a grey area---he shouldn't skip out on work to date me but I also wouldn't want to date a workaholic.  I never said I don't want to pay any attention to his kids, but I did say I'm not interested in becoming a step mother.  I'm not interested in a blended family.  I don't want to move my kids into your kids house or vice versa.  The adult part of my life belongs to me and doesn't involve my kids.  I'm certainly understanding when custody schedules change at the last minute, your kid makes the soccer playoffs and you have to cancel, your kid gets sick, etc.  I want to date a man that prioritizes his children.

[quote=Anonymous]I find this kind of sad. DW and I have different strengths, and we fill each other's gaps. In some areas we're both weak, and that sucks, but we get by. We like each other and have each other's back. The world out there sounds like a cold, hard place, if [b]I could be rejected because I don't cook.[/b] The bit about rejecting a guy solely because his divorce left him short of money is sad too, if the OP has money. [/quote]

I'm looking for basic skills--the ability to boil water and toast bread.  I'm not looking for you to be able to make chateaubriand.  When we're discussing what to do for the evening, if netflix and chill comes up, I don't always want to be the one responsible for making dinner.  And I don't always want to go out for dinner.  It would be nice if he had the ability to cobble together a simple homemade meal that doesn't involve me.

[/quote]

WOW.  OP this sounds incredibly neurotic if not downright delusional.  Real people aren't lists of arbitrary characteristics.  The first date should primarily be about whether or not there is any basic chemistry or not. I suspect that you don't want to admit you're simply not physically attractive enough to get the.quality of men you believe you are entitled to, so you've made dating into an obstacle course which "they" are bound to fail.  You can comfort yourself by the.delusion that it's them, not you.  But any woman who would exclude a man simply because he doesn't cook is insane-but obviously you have a whole list of other things as well.  If you don't want to be alone, I suggest you look for an older.fatter Balder poorer man who maybe doesn't cook, but.may nevertheless be a.perfectly fine human being, and be thankful if you can ever find.even one.willing to.put up with you.[/quote]

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