Reply to Why is dating so hard once you hit 40?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Why is dating so hard once you hit 40?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m 45 and I find it very hard to find someone for an LTR.  I’m busy raising my kids, doing things I enjoy, and living my life.  I’d love to have someone to talk to at the end of the day, go to an event with me, and yes, have sex with.  But not at the expense of my kids.

They don’t need or want another father.  They have one.  I don’t want to be a step mom.  I’ll assume that your kids already have a mom.

If you haven’t been married by your late 40s, I have to wonder why.  I dated a great guy who cared for his physically disabled parents until they both passed away.  That’s a good reason.  But he was looking to get married.  We stopped seeing each other last March but are still FB friends.  He was engaged by Oct.  I’m happy for him; he got what he wanted.

I don’t need or want your money but I do need you to be able to hold your own.  If you got screwed in your divorce and have little to no money for things like going out to dinner, the theater, or a vacation, that’s not going to work.  I don’t expect you to pay for me, but I also don’t expect to have to pay for you.

I don’t want to be responsible for you.  If your house isn’t tidy, I’m not interested.  If you cheated on your wife, I’m not interested.  Yes I’m sure it was all her fault, she stopped having sex with you—you had no choice.  But I’m not interested.  If you can’t cobble together basic cooking skills and come up with boiled pasta and frozen garlic bread, I’m not interested.

So I guess I’m pretty picky which is why finding an LTR seems difficult.  And we haven’t even begun to discuss the morals, values, ethics, and religion.  And then of course, the physical chemistry.  But honestly, if you can meet my criteria of being a grown man capable of functioning independently,
I’m sure the chemistry will be there.[/quote]

You certainly have every right to your criteria, but this does not sound welcoming. [/quote]

What is unwelcoming about this?[/quote]

She's looking for a man in his forties that can cook, maintain himself financially and logistically, isnt a slob, and isn't a commitmentphobe? This is basic.[/quote]

I find this kind of sad. DW and I have different strengths, and we fill each other's gaps. In some areas we're both weak, and that sucks, but we get by. We like each other and have each other's back. The world out there sounds like a cold, hard place, if I could be rejected because  I don't cook. The bit about rejecting a guy solely because his divorce left him short of money is sad too, if the OP has money.[/quote]

NP:   It’s great that you appreciate those qualities in a relationship.  But having been thru a divorce I didn’t want to go thru another so I am way more picky. [/quote]

Agree.  I'm 48 and divorced.  Quite frankly, I have a great dating life.  I also have 2 kids and know that that is a lot for some guys.  I can't date a guy who is not financially stable.  I'm too old.  They have to be able to hold their own.  I also want a guy who can cook.  After 19 years of marriage, if I never cook another day, it would be too soon.[/quote]

So basically you gave your first husband your best and the next guy is supposed to settle for someone who won’t make him feel important. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics