Reply to Requests from a Sibing who is there for Elderly Parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here, so how do all these posters who claim they forced elderly parents to move actually FORCE them to move?  Did you have them deemed incompetent in a court of law and become their guardian?  Because we tried everything, and I mean everything (begging, asking nicely, having the grandchildren ask, threatening, begging again) to get my single MIL who was dying of a chronic illness to move in with us.  She would NOT budge.  She didn’t care if we refused to ever see her again.  She didn’t care if we cried, or promised to make her life comfortable and happy in our home, she didn’t care if we promised to pay for everything, she was never, ever going to leave her apartment.  Never. Her doctors didn’t think she was mentally incompetent, so we couldn’t do anything.  We threatened to stop visiting, and went 4 months of not talking to her, which drove my DH insane.  She refused to health care workers in her apartment.  We reported her to adult services.  No help.  None.  And if we had support from her dr and adult protective services and did actually have her found mentally incompetent and us be made her guardians, you would have needed the police to put her in a straight jacket and literally physically force her out.

Some people are stubborn as nails.  It was heart breaking.  You cannot force anyone to do anything.  You can persuade, you can threaten, you can bribe, but how did these posters actually FORCE?  In the end, my MIL committed suicide.  No happy ending for us.[/quote]

I am absolutely with your MIL. This is the preferred way if I get that sick. Both not moving and suicide. I hate being taken care of because I lost my independence (I had couple of days of that and I was ready to call it quits)[/quote]

Well good for you but it was a nightmare for my family that lasted 4 years and caused my daughter so much anxiety that she is in therapy.  My DH missed pretty much every milestone of the last 4 years for our children that he will never, ever get back.  Just so my MIL could stand her ground.  Selfish to the end.[/quote]

Dude that is brutal, and I am in favor of medically assisted end of life........but that shit is different, it just is. I am so sorry for your DH and family and hope you get peace.[/quote]

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