Reply to At what point does a favor become a burden?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a mom to twins.  THey are hard.  Whether they're newborn or 6 (as mine are) - they are hard and getting out the door and to work on time has been a persistent challenge since the day I went back to work.

I think OP is doing a lovely thing and I think the twin mom is being churlish (and foolish) for not expressing gratitude.

If I were OP (and if this was feasible given the ages and locations of the kids involved) I'd send the twin mom a note saying something like this:

"Hey Jane, how are you?  I hope life is startling to settle down a bit - I  imagine it must be a whole new reality.  I wanted to touch base about the morning arrangements.  I'm struggling a bit w/ our household routine in the morning (this is not a new dynamic!).  Could you have your kids out the door and at my house by 7:55 each morning?  I'm happy to get them from there to the bus stop but recapturing the few extra minutes of kid wrangling at my end would be really great.  Let me know."

That way I'm still offering to be helpful but in a way that impacts my household a little less.  And the twin mom is a bit on notice that some thanks are called for.

10 minutes is a BIG deal in our morning - it's the difference between a stressed mother or not, 5-10 minutes to sit and eat a bowl of cereal together or not, 5 minutes of fun and snuggles (which change the entire day if I can squeeze that in), etc...

So thank you for what you've done for your neighbor OP - I do hope the favor is returned someday and I do think the universe returns what you put into it.  [/quote]

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