Reply to 100k HHI in suburban envirnoment, and we live like kings. AMA.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I don't think you understand what I'm saying, and that's okay. But I'll repeat it one more time, and more directly: we're not planning on "end of life care." If either of us is in a position where our spouse can't care for us, we're going to die in our homes on our own terms--the way people have for pretty much all of human history. [b]We're not going to spend thousands or millions of dollars trying to prolong our deaths[/b]. That's our value system. It doesn't have to be yours.[/quote]

I get that you're not even 40 years old yet, so you are probably still in that land of the fog where disease and sickness is something that only happens to other people.

But with your education, you should know that there is a wide, wide space inhabited by people whose spouses can't care for them, and yet they are nowhere near death. That state can go on for years, sometimes decades.  You or your wife can get dementia and spend your days spreading feces on your living room walls - while remaining otherwise healthy and fit to live for another 15 years.  That's just one example of someone whose spouse can't possibly care for them yet there are nowhere near to die. You or your wife can get a chronic condition that requires constant medical attention, again, for years, and I have trouble believing that you or your wife will respond by saying oh well, we didn't plan for this, so just lay in this bed until you die please.  But then maybe you will, who knows.[/quote]

Exactly.  What I bolded - that is not what end of life care is about.[/quote]

Yes, your naivety about "end of life" care is pretty crazy.

What happens if one of you develops MS?  Some type of bad but potentially curable cancer?  (There are many of those).
Alzheimers? (i.e.  strong body but demented brain)  Parkinson's?  (you can be debilitated but of sound mind and live for decades)   And the list goes on an on.   
[/quote]

Dementia is really a big one especially when the person who has it is otherwise healthy physically.  My MIL is living in an independent facility, but even at a somewhat early stage where she is still mostly lucid, and in the care of a pricey well run facility, it can be exhausting to make sure she doesn't do anything harmful to herself or others.  (The latter much improved since we took her car away.)  At the rate of her decline I would be within the year she'll require a full-time caretaker to make sure she doesn't leave the stove on or take too many pills.  This is the sort of thing you'd want to make sure you could afford.  And you can't count on your children doing it all for you, especially if they have families of their own or have moved far away. [/quote]

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