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[quote=Anonymous]I'll wade into this fray. I have spanked my daughter, currently five, and would do so again. I'm not particularly proud of it, and I didn't set out to have that within the repertoire of our parenting/discipline techniques. I was never opposed to it, though, and we came to a point when she was around 3 1/2 or 4 when we decided it was necessary because nothing else worked to address a particular problem we were having, namely, her throwing huge tantrums at bedtime and overnight. I'm sure I'll get flamed for spanking over bedtime issues, what's the big deal, but the issues were severe, disrupting the entire family, and basically allowing her to rule the roost, which we did not want to tolerate. We tried everything else, including positive reinforcement via rewards/bribes, silent walk-back, co-sleeping, locking her in her room, everything. Over a period of months. We came to spanking because (1) we couldn't *make* her do the behavior we needed her to do, i.e., stay in bed and sleep, and (2) she was old enough to understood the issue and the punishment but not old enough to be out of that terribly irrational stage. So, we implemented a relatively mild physical punishment to correct the behavior. She has been spanked probably a total of 8 to 10 times, over the past two years. We also implemented spanking for her deliberately trying to break things, for example, kicking a door (she split the admittedly cheap wood on her closet door at the bottom) or trying to pull over a shelf (which she almost pulled over onto herself).

She obviously throws severe tantrums. I will note she did this before we ever started spanking. As she has aged, she has gotten better though she remains just a volatile child. Ironically, it is my perception that spanking helps her calm down faster. I believe that she CAN control herself, but she needs a real push to do so, and spanking provides that. I have also tried staying with her when she tantrums, doing the time-in thing; my presence would work her up more.

We also utilize time-outs, 123 magic, and positive reinforcement. We praise good behavior, have rewards sticker charts, etc. I do consider myself pretty strict on many things, I just don't enforce most things via spanking.

We also have a son, and he has a totally different personality. I very seriously doubt I"ll need to spank him and if I don't, I won't. I also don't anticipate spanking my daughter for much longer, because I feel less comfortable spanking an older child.

We spank by leaning her over a chair or her bed and giving her firm swats on the bottom, one for each year of age. We are calm when we do it, not out of anger.

DH got "swats" as a child for misbehavior such as not behaving during church. I don't think it was frequent. DH is extremely close with his parents. I was spanked but it was more like a hit, and it was definitely out of anger by my dad. It was infrequent though, but I was scared of him as a child. We have a fine relationship now.

We are UMC and were raised middle class to UMC. [/quote]

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