Reply to Rising High School Senior just decided to extend his trip...

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[quote=Anonymous]I haven't read all of the responses, but I am definitely cracking up at all the people who are insisting that a 18 year old who is living at home is an adult. This "adult" presumably isn't paying for his housing, groceries, electricity, water, health insurance and so forth. Paying for his trip means he paid for his trip, it doesn't make him a call-all-the-shots, bonafide adult. Give me a break.

THAT SAID, he sounds like a fabulous kid. If everyone were respectful in this situation, he would have asked beforehand, and OP would have allowed it.

I think OPs son probably knows his mom is a pain in the ass, so he did this ahead of time ("oh, sorry mom! Can't change it now!") and he ignores her calls, which is also rude and unacceptable, but he probably does it because mom isn't just doing a five minute checkin here and there, she's probably helicoptering like an assh*le. If he's a very good kid, he's probably avoiding her for a good reason, although that doesn't make his behavior right either.

You should work on transitioning your relationship to a more adult one between you and him over the course of the upcoming year. If I were you, I'd lay down the law about the bullshit he pulled, which is that he unilaterally extended his trip and pretends to be unavailable. He might be willing to put up with your hovering now, but your relationship with him might take a turn for the worse when a prospective DIL arrives on the scene - and I say that as a mom of a boy myself! My mother in law really failed to transition her relationship with my DH into a more adult one, and when it came time to set boundaries, she was the one he pushed away, not me. [/quote]

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