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Reply to "How can I get DW to work more?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if you dropped the cleaning lady and your wife added some more part time hours? Would that help with finances? [b]It really makes a difference for middle and high school kids to have a parent home in the afternoon for a lot of reasons, so that is another aspect to keep in mind.[/b] [/quote] Please take this to heart. It is true and very important [/quote] I have two kids out of college and on their own. Two in college. One high school senior. It is really important to have a parent home in the afternoons and evenings when you have teens. I know not everyone can do it. But if you can, it really matters. If I had to choose, I would work during the elementary grades and stay at home during middle and high school. I'm grateful that I was able to be at home. [/quote] What do you have of importance to do now? It sounds nice in some ways, but giving up a professional life is a high price to pay. We hire an afternoon sitter/driver for our teen and tween.[/quote] A driver or an afternoon sitter was not what we wanted for our teens. We wanted a parent home in the afternoons. A sitter isn't the same as a parent. The teen years can be tough. I've seen too many really bad outcomes. We managed to raise five children without any drug or alcohol issues, pregnancy scares, bad grades, etc. I believe having a parent at home helped. What "do I have of importance now"? I'm actually not sure what that means. I still work part time and I love my work. My DH and I are 50. He retires at 55. We have a wonderful life together. We travel a lot to see our kids. We have a brand new grandbaby. We sail to the Bahamas every year. We are excited about doing more traveling when my DH retires. We are both involved in our church. We are active in our community. We have a large garden and grow much of our own food. We both enjoy our paid work, but it has never been what defines either one of us. If work is the thing that gives you your greatest sense of purpose, you may be in for some tough times when you retire. [/quote] I raised two children without drug or alcohol problems, to be active in sports and afterschool clubs and church youth group. Having a parent at home probably is helpful, but the question is at what cost? If you would have only made 20 or 30 K more if you had gone from part time to full time work, that wouldn't pay for much spread over 5 children, but some of us with fewer children, higher pay and more invested in their careers don't see a parent home immediately after school as a necessity worth giving up one whole income.[/quote] Exactly. If her continuing to SAH when once her kids were all in school worked best for the PP with 5 kids' family & she & her DH were both happy with the areangement, great. But, barring perhaps families with kids who have severe medical issues or other special needs that require extra supervision &/or tons of medical/therapy appointments, having a parent at home once the kids are in middle school is hardly a necessity nor is it even worth the drop in income for many families. Fwiw, my parents also raised 5 kids without drug or alcohol issues, pregnancy scares, bad grades, etc, & they both worked full-time. Yes, there are kids with 2 working parents who end up with these issues but plenty of kids with SAH parents do, as well.[/quote]
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