Reply to Rant re DH's family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I get where you're coming from because I, too, am an immigrant who has problems saying no and from a culture that is tight knit/has boundary issues. That said, you really do have to take responsibility for your decision to marry your DH, not stand up to his parents back then, and pay his loans. I'm sure your immigrant parents weren't thrilled you were marrying someone dumber that you had to support, but it sounds like you were able to stand up to your family. Why didn't you stand up to DH's? Let things go and be nicer to the newer members of the family. You can hate your mil/fil (who doesn't?) but you shouldn't hate on potentially awesome family.[/quote]

No, they weren't thrilled. But in the end we all love each other and can work through things.

His family has never shown me affection (for example, they told my husband on our first anniversary to tell me that they don't celebrate anniversaries). Our interactions always felt like an imposition.[/quote]

You seem to be personally offended that they don't celebrate anniversaries, but it seems to me that the only perspective you're considering is your own.  Since DH's parent lost their spouse, any anniversary celebration after their loss might have been too painful for them to bear for a long time.  And even if there was no such loss in the family, if they were the type to celebrate your anniversary, they'd also have to celebrate everyone else's anniversary.  Then everyone's weekends would get filled up with not just the usual family centered events and holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas and weddings, but all the family anniversaries, birthdays, individual religious milestones.....and where does it all end?  For a person who can't stand the family get togethers as it is, why would you want even MORE family events?  Not only do they take up everyone's time, but if gifts are also expected, would also be a drain on everyone's finances.  Sometimes the reasons are simply practical.  It has nothing to do with you personally, but you think it's all about you.

Read 16:24's advice on page 6 of this thread, and then follow it.[/quote]

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