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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I get where you're coming from because I, too, am an immigrant who has problems saying no and from a culture that is tight knit/has boundary issues. That said, you really do have to take responsibility for your decision to marry your DH, not stand up to his parents back then, and pay his loans. I'm sure your immigrant parents weren't thrilled you were marrying someone dumber that you had to support, but it sounds like you were able to stand up to your family. Why didn't you stand up to DH's? Let things go and be nicer to the newer members of the family. You can hate your mil/fil (who doesn't?) but you shouldn't hate on potentially awesome family.[/quote] No, they weren't thrilled. But in the end we all love each other and can work through things. [b]His family has never shown me affection[/b] (for example, they told my husband on our first anniversary to tell me that they don't celebrate anniversaries). Our interactions always felt like an imposition.[/quote] They don't??? Shocking. Just for personal reference, but why would anyone WANT to show affection towards a bitter, judgemental, sanctimonious, ice queen, who has a 10 foot wall of resentful, grudge filled baggage around her? Boy, she sounds like a party... I'm sure your overall vibe & body language towards them is inherently warm, inviting & NON stand off-ish, so it's anyone's guess as to why they've never shown you affection? Uh, have you ever tried hugging a cactus, OP? It's not recommended. I imagine the same can be said of you.[/quote] Oh stop! So much exaggeration here. That said, OP, seriously why did you marry this guy? I know it's too late to take back your marriage now, but you were academically more qualified than him and his family sounds, though not necessarily like bad people, overbearing and obnoxious. Didn't you know about it before? It's like you set them all up to fail. It's good you are in therapy. For your sanity, you should probably cut down on visiting them and when you do visit, communicate what you want and set boundaries in a firm but friendly way.[/quote]
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