Reply to Critique me: 28 yr old Af Am woman who wants marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here.  Wanted to echo the posters saying not to expect you will meet him at church.  Most of the guys I know didn't start going to church until they were settled in a relationship even if they "grew up in the church".  Also agree wth keep an open mind. I'm AA and my DH isn't black. I only dated black guys in college so it wouldn't have occurred to me back then that things would be different after college.  Post college I had met guys thru friends - we would go sporting events in a group - they knew each other from business school and I knew one of them from work, I was dating guys I met online, met a guy at a wedding, and met DH at a party that was thrown by a friend of a friend.  I also was lucky I had a good group of friends in the area, I had a hobby I enjoyed and was in a good place.  Some of my co-workers and college friends weren't AA so that's how I ended up going to social gatherings with guys that weren't black.

As for the advice to build a man up, not to nag or be too independent, I think there is a balance.  Everyone wants to feel both needed and appreciated.  Having your partner feel like their life is enhanced with you in it and stronger together is different than being needy, co-dependent, or straight up expecting someone else to make you happy.  My attitude has been one of "I can do bad by myself" and I'd rather be alone than in a relationship with the wrong person. So I was cautious in getting too serious too soon without getting to know a person.  That didn't mean it wasn't trying to be thoughtful or considerate of the other person.  At the same time part of my standards were expecting the guy I was dating would be thoughtful and considerate also.[/quote]
I enjoyed your story, really. It is great to have certain circle of friends, hobbies, interests, etc. It works great to go out often + to be enthusiastic, I think. I met my SO online ( http://www.uniformdating.com/policeofficer.htm ), but I was veery social, I met new people almost every day. You never know where you find him :) [/quote]

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