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[quote=Anonymous]OP, hang in there. You seem to be one of the most mature people in this thread.

You can't undo the other child, so the answer is "what next"? I actually know someone in a similar situation. It wasn't easy, but the kids have a pretty healthy sibling relationship. The kids ask surprisingly few questions in the early years. The important thing is to figure out if the conditions that happened in your relationship that led to the cheating are fixable and better. In the case I know, they were basically unkind to each other for a long time before anything happened. He perceives himself as being a stand-up guy because he won't walk away from children. That was the starting point. They went to counseling and learned better ways of communicating. I'm not sure that it will last, but everyone involved made an effort not to take it out on the kids. There's a lot I'm leaving out because it really isn't super common, and too many more details could out them. It sounds like you think you can come to terms with it, so accept you will get angry from time to time but you seem to be separating being a sh*tty husband from being a sh*tty father. Take it one day at a time, and I know it sound counter-intuitive, but you want that other kid under your roof when the kids are together. Kids are kids, and you want the contact between your DH and the OW to be as businesslike as possible.

But also make sure you have your own money and lock down any assets that come to you alone. [/quote]

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