Reply to Do you regret being childless by choice later in life?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had someone assume I did nothing because I had no children. Like, they couldn't imagine what I might be doing with my life other than raising kids. That gets tiresome and, again, I am childless NOT BY CHOICE, so I can imagine how someone who chooses not to have kids might receive some judgment like that. If you wanted kids and pushed them out great but understand that some people don't want them. If anything my struggle to have kids made me examine more closely WHY I wanted them whereas most people I know just made babies because it was the next thing to do on the list of life things. [/quote]

+1000

I am also childless, not by choice. It's a hard decision to make, not everyone wants children. If we lived in an affordable area, we would have pursued adoption or foster care. I can definitely see why many in higher cost areas would decide not to have children, for a while host if reasons.

Back to the question...do childless by choice people have any regrets?

I do, but I am childless due to infertility and lack of money.[/quote]

So you are saying its too expensive to raise a kid in this area even if you had the money or able to conceive? Bc when i travel abroad to south america i see a lot of young white parents with little kids who look native. [/quote]

No, I am the pp and what I was saying is that I don't have the money here to adopt (horribly expensive) or pay for all the extras and daycare for a foster child, who in MD will be probably given back to their original parent and for whom the state funds substantially  less than half the amount for daycare in the DC area.

If I felt sure I could foster to adopt, I would pay the extra money. As it is, we will have to wait. If I lived in an affordable area, I would take my chances and not worry about the money while fostering. Also don't want to get attached to a child, love them, and have to turn them back over to a potentially problemed environment.

If I lived in Alabama or Georgia or Kansas or any affordable state with  a lots of children who need  foster care, I would be fostering to adopt right now. It would not be a financial  problem for me to be a parent who can't conceive naturally, much like it would be if I lived in South America.

For now, both DH and I are good with our choice. We don't plan to be in the DC area forever, and I plan to try to foster / adopt after we relocate. We may end up childless in the long run anyhow, but it is what it is. I'm working, volunteering, and pursuing a small side business to make extra money.

Do think seriously about  what will happen when we are elderly, but there are no guarantees if you have kids either. I know people whose kids have disappointed them, people who have kids who are drug addicts, kids who are always financially dependant, two sets of parents whose one kid tragically committed suicide because he was gay, and many many great  kids and parents. 
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