Reply to Husband isn't good provider and I secretly hate him for it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. The reason you hate him is because of his attitude, not his income. 
It is not unreasonable to want someone to make you feel secure and comfortable. But what matters most is his intention to try his best to make you feel comfortable and secure. [/quote]
+1  Agreed.  Similar thing happened to us.  DH's attitude was selfish  - didn't want to change lifestyle for the kids.  And when I mean lifestyle, I don't mean I wanted him to make more money.  Quite the opposite, I wanted to reduce our expenses (like getting rid of his expensive toys) so that we could get a 3br house -- we have one  boy and one girl.  He knew we needed a 3br house at some point, but wasn't willing to pull back on our expenses so that we could achieve it.  And yet, he had no other plan to pay for a 3br  house (we live in a really expensive area).   I was really angry with him.

It was his attitude -- thinking more about himself than the kids - that was the real problem for me. There were other things like this, too.  He had certain things growing up that I wanted for my kids (not material things) but he didn't want to change our lifestyle to achieve this.  And again, I wasn't asking him to work more hours or get paid more. I was perfectly willing to cut back on expenses for us to achieve it, but he wasn't.

Yes, it all worked out.  He finally accepted that having kids means you do have to change your lifestyle.[/quote]

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