Reply to what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?

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Reply to "what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Wow lady. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you.

In my experience bad stuff happens to everyone, sometimes through choices you make, sometimes through choices loved one's make, and sometimes randomly. How you dust yourself off and deal with them teaches your kids a lot about the world. In my opinion, two parents that continue to show their kids love, who continue to prioritize them and who accept everyone involved as family will have happier kids than someone who dwells in anger and bitterness. That is what I have learned watching my parents. Or at least, at minimum, being angry and bitter and hateful and making sure your kids know it sure as hell doesn't help, so I'm going to choose the other path. And being silently angry and bitter isn't really a good option either, kids aren't stupid.

No family is a threat to my child. The child didn't blow up the marriage, the infidelity did. And just like I would go to lengths to make sure my children knew it wasn't THEIR fault if I divorced my husband, I would also never blame this hypothetical child, nor would I let my kids do that, because it would be wrong.

Most certainly everyone would be better off if this hypothetical situation never comes to pass. But if it did, I'm basically 100% sure that divorcing, loathing my husband and acting like his child doesn't exist would make the situation 100% worse, and I just don't see the value in that and frankly if I did that I would be equally to blame in the suffering my children endured. I'm sorry if you weren't strong enough to take that path because the vehemence with which you're fighting all these posters who are taking a more compassionate viewpoint makes me think this strikes close to home. [/quote]

So you think the kids are "not stupid enough" not to notice that one parent is silently angry, but just stupid enough to believe that a random child who suddenly came to live with them didn't come out of infidelity? [/quote]

I think there would be questions and if it came up I'd be honest with them of course. But there is no reason to poison them against a parent if you plan to stay together and can manage it. [/quote]

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