Reply to Should I just wait 18 or so years to live how I really want?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you going to leave your child too? Selfish (as you say you are) doesn't end with your husband.[/quote]

No I could never leave him. I don't enjoy being a mother but I love him and am bonded to him. My love for him is instinctive but I find the rote tasks of caring for him completely exhausting and utterly joyless. In no way did motherhood complete me as a person or make me feel more whole. It stripped me of my identity as I struggle to work and take care of this tiny human. It's a weird contradiction bc I love him so much. It's hard to explain. [/quote]

Little secret for you - the BS about motherhood 'completing you' is just that. It's hard, exhausting, often joyless work, especially when your kids are young. My marriage was difficult during that time too.

So what you are is completely normal. [/quote]

ditto.  I'm a mom of 4 (don't quite know how I got there) and I really recommend to people stopping at 1 or 2 kids.  As they age, you will reclaim your life a bit.  The more kids you have, the more of yourself you lose.

My husband and I fight about nothing except the kids, and we fight a lot about them, but we know we have to work on us as a couple as well.
Start marital counseling and go in with a positive attitude of we love each other, and we're going to make this work.  If you can find a way to be happy and content with your husband, that will make the parenting tolerable.[/quote]

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