Reply to How to get her back? "The one that got away" recently divorced w/ 2 DC, messaged me.

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Reply to " How to get her back? "The one that got away" recently divorced w/ 2 DC, messaged me."

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[quote=Anonymous]Op you're gonna want to tread carefully here. This is a woman who, if your timeline is right, went from serious relationship with you to marriage and kids with this guy, and as soon as that was over, bounced back to you. That means she's never taken ANY time to be alone on her own two feet and do any kind of personal growth or practice self sufficiency. I hate to tell you this but she is viewing you as a hologram- she's not specifically pining for YOU- she just sees you as a representative of who she was back in that easier, simpler time in her life. Chances you are highly compatible now with 10 years, kids, and a divorce in the mix- slim.

You're a safety net basically. She's looking at doing life alone and can't or won't. She's scared. She's casting about for someone/thing that will be there so she doesn't have to be single mom and do the whole hustle of working and supporting the kids and coming home alone at night when they're with dad. The impulse is understandable but you need to be the good guy here and let her know that she needs time to settle into her new life without you gumming up the works. She needs to know she can do it and take the time to do it so she can figure out what she really wants in her post-divorce life. Don't enable her avoidance of that by jumping into this.

This requires decency of you because it's very likely she will move on (either because she will realize she CAN do it on her own or she will find another guy who is happy to take on her shit for her) but it's the right thing to do. And ONLY when she takes that time for herself, focuses on her and the kids and rebuilding, will she and you know that if then she still wants to give things another go with you that it was legit and not just a "I'm divorced and scared and know that guy is a port in the storm" thing. [/quote]

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