Reply to Let's talk 9th grade social life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]While these are all good suggestions, if you're DC isn't inattentive, I don't think you truly understand their ongoing struggles.[/quote]

I don't think the OP was asking for advice from only those whose kids have mild ADHD (don't most teens have it to an extent anyway?)

If she wanted only advice from those with special needs, she would have posted in that forum.

OP, many kids have executive functioning issues and mild ADHD.  Some medicated and some not.  For kids like this, their worst years are 7-9th grade.  9th grade is tough for everyone.  More homework, more after school activities.  By 10th grade they start to get it a little better.  Not that their inattentiveness has gone away but they are feeling a little more secure in handling it.  Your school should have a learning specialist that should help with the executive functioning.  You need to offer some plans and have your child as one friend to start and then add a few more. You really need to lead the horse to water at this age.   The posters talking about social media being their social lives is spot on.  All week long kids go to school, activities, homework, a little bit of phone and off to bed.  Sometimes this age, kids that are a little anxious, shy, awkward, will relish being at home doing not much.  The pressure is high for freshman all week.  Some kids don't want to admit it but lounging around and not socializing helps them decompress. Many don't want to start the party/social scene and that is a-ok.   I would set limits on the phone, even on weekends. Let her learn to decompress without it.  Reading, hiking, bike riding, adult coloring book, etc...  But still encourage socialization without being pushy.  "Hey, I have to run to the mall for a few hours tomorrow.  Do you want to ask Sophie to go see the Magical beasts movie?  I can drive and pick up."  or  "For once we have no plans on Saturday morning.  How about inviting a few girls for movies/pizza and a sleepover."    If nothing happens, then YOU take your daughter to the movies, dinner, etc... and just talk and hang out.  You may get a better feel for what is going on.    [/quote]

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