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[quote=Anonymous]Recently had to go through this for my father.  There was allot involved and I remember thinking that it felt so weird being an "event coordinator" while also grieving the loss of a parent.  It was exhausting but comforting to know that every detail I took care of was one less thing that my mom had to do.  I agree with many of the comments already made.  At our parish, there was absolutely an expectation that altar servers get a "tip"  (in addition to the organist, the cantor, and making a donation to the priest/church).  This was true 30 years ago when my brothers were altar servers at the same parish and hasn't changed since.  In our case, we gave all of the "tip" envelopes to the funeral director who distributed them (I hope!).  I will be forever indebted to the funeral director who helped guide us through all of this.

Two other ideas that might be helpful.  1) I put small tissue boxes in each of the pews ahead of time.  2) We had a "program" printed with my dad's picture on the front and the order of the mass (and names of readers, etc) inside the program.  This was really helpful for the many non-Catholics who attended.  The Catholic mass can be very confusing and intimidating to non-Catholics and we wanted for the event to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible.  In the program, we also indicated where the reception would be held (in this case, the church hall).  At the reception, we had a caterer, flowers on the tables, a video tribute, and pictures/mementos posted around the room.

The funeral director coordinated delivering the flower arrangements that were delivered to the funeral home to the church for the mass.  You will want to check with your church if this is allowed.  I was shocked when our parish tried to insist that no outside flowers were allowed because the altar would already have flowers.  We pushed back and they caved. The compromise was that all of the flower arrangements from the funeral home were placed around my dad's urn rather than on the altar. [/quote]

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