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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would say "Thanks! Looking forward to seeing you!"[/quote]

This. Don't feed the passive aggressiveness. If she is upset that you're staying in a hotel, it's her responsibility to say that. Don't manage her feelings. You've taken them into consideration by getting a hotel so that her house isn't overrun.

Do not engage in her nonsense. [/quote]

Is there history or a backstory?  Is she referring to past events when she says "this is just like you?"

In any event, SIL isnt really being passive aggressive here.  She IS very clearly letting you know that she is upset by you staying in a hotel, albeit in a snarky immature way.  I agree with PP who noted that in some families (mine included) everyone staying at the same house -even in tight, chaotic quarters - is part of the holiday "fun" and bonding, especially for the kids.  Given that background and family tradition, I can see SIL being disappointed or even offended that you chose to opt out of this, especially if you did it without talking to her first.  Helping make sure that her house isn't overrun isn't really taking her into consideration if in fact she was looking forward to and expecting that holiday experience.  I would try to rise above her sarcastic text and reach out, acknowledging that she is upset, and letting her know what your intentions were and that you meant no offense in getting a hotel.  Perhaps you could consider spending one night at her house?[/quote]

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