Reply to Ex-wife and son are sabotaging his opportunity to attend my alma mater

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hello exdh! 
You are too controlling. Try connecting with our son as pp said.  It is good that you are concerned about his welfare and his future. It does sound as though you are more concerned about yourself - at least that is how your post comes across. [/quote]

Is this really the Ex DW?[/quote]

PP you are quoting here and I can't say for sure but if not it's a LOT of coincidences.  [/quote]

Np here. So what's up with your son then. Which college does he want to attend and why? I understand you want your x to connect with your son but I would think it's also in your best interest to help persuade your son to a decent future. [/quote]

Yes I absolutely am concerned about my son's future. There are a couple of things going on here- first is that I think he is nervous about not being accepted. or not being accepted on his own merits. He is a good student but he is a bit more humble than his dad and therefore a bit intimidated. This is understandable to me. I am encouraging him to apply but not harassing him about it. I want him to do well. whether or not he attends his dad's elite alma mater is not my priority. 
The second issue is that he seems to want to break away from his identity as Mr. Ex DH 's Son. He is feeling out being his own person. I do NOT want to get in the way of this. I am happy about it! At the same time he does need some guidance. It is a tough position for me. I am trying to give him some space but also need to establish some parameters. I cannot discuss or work with exdh on this because all he cares about is our son attending his elite! There is so much about our son that his dad does not know - but that is how exdh is, it is out of my control. 
I hope OP can get through to his son and help him get on a good path - but he really needs to connect with his son as an individual, not an extension of himself. [/quote]

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