Reply to Children and Racial Slurs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How would you handle a racial slur being made against your elementary aged child if the teacher didn't contact you and your child is upset? This is a white child being called the "N" word by an AA child, he was also called other names. This was in the classroom while the kids were getting ready to sit on the carpet for a story. The child looked right at the other child and called the name -  I was careful to determine that my child didn't mishear or hear something that was just being said out loud. It was 100% said to my child.

Do I contact the parents, or the teacher, or go see the principle? Or do none of those and just counsel my child on how we don't say that to people and how it's not okay? My concern is that the other child is saying this to other kids and that kids will pick up on it and it will spread. Also concerned with how upset my child is.

Any thoughts on the best course of action or advice on what you would do in this situation?[/quote]

I would follow up with the teacher - your DH did not give her a chance to address something that happened in the classroom.

I would also follow up with your child.  They are hurtful words no matter who they are said to, and they should not be used.[/quote]

The teacher had a chance to contact us and warn us about what my child may come home and say and explain the situation/what steps she took. I'm wasn't aware DH was going to approach the principle, but at this point I don't think we will contact the teacher as the principle is already involved. [/quote]

Did the teacher hear the comments? If not, you can't blame her for not being involved yet.

I'd still send a brief email, noting that he mentioned it to the principal whom he happened to see this morning. That way the teacher doesn't feel like you intentionally went over her head without including her in the initial conversation.[/quote]

I cannot say whether or not the teacher heard, but my child did tell the teacher what was said. The room they were in was small and the kids were settling onto the carpet so it's possible the teacher was in in-shot, but I really don't know. [/quote]

I still think you should mention in an email to the teacher (you know, the person you have to deal with ALL YEAR) that Larlo said X to your son, your son told you he told her, and you are concerned that you did not hear from her on what you consider a very serious issue.

You had a problem with how she handled the situation (you aren't giving us a timeline, so did your DH catch the principal the next day, the next week, etc), and you did not give her a chance to address it.  [/quote]

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