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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

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Do you think if you had taken that one night stand a little more seriously it would have made a difference now. It seems like it was a red flag that was ignored during the thralls of early dating.[/quote]

Yes - I think I should have taken it more seriously.  In addition to him having the one-night stand, he didn't tell me about it for years, a mutual friend outed him.  That actually broke some of my feelings right then.  I was less physically attracted to him almost instantaneously.  But he told me he didn't tell me about it because it was a stupid mistake and he knew he would never hurt me again, and I was naive and believed him.[/quote]
I don't think you were naive to believe him.[b] A person could have a one night stand while dating and never dream of having a year long affair while married[/b], don't beat yourself up for not knowing everything he was capable of.[/quote]

NP here.  I disagree.  I think if someone can cheat on you when you are in the first blush of a relationship, then it's almost a certainty they'll cheat on you when you've been married for years.  A one night stand is cheating.  It's also reckless because it means your BF doesn't know the person and could be exposing you to disease or exposing himself to an unplanned pregnancy that he'll have no say over.

And that goes both ways.  A woman who can delude herself into thinking it's okay that she had one mistake (one night stand) while dating will eventually cheat on or leave her husband.  In this scenario, it's usually that the woman isn't really that into/attracted to her husband to begin with.  She's with him because he either (1) makes a lot of money (or has the potential to) or (2) provides an emotional stability (in this case, the woman is usually insecure and doesn't think she can "do better," so the cheating is a result of someone more attractive showing interest in her).[/quote]

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