Reply to "Affair fog". When does it wear off?

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Reply to ""Affair fog". When does it wear off?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Time to stop focusing on him. Stop wasting your precious energy, time, resources, etc on him. Focus on yourself. There are reasons you've been holding on so long, in spite of everything he's done. Time to face your fears, and face your feelings towards yourself. It's the only way to get free of him emotionally. You owe this to yourself and your child.

This is inner work, and you must step back, stop engaging with him or trying to fix things with him (you can't--it's broken and it's not worth your effort), and work on strengthening yourself. You can do this without having to physically split just yet. Shelter in place, as it were. When you're emotionally and financially ready, then you will be able to take the steps to physically leave. Your child's at a vulnerable age, so you need to move carefully.

Take all that energy you threw into trying to make the marriage work, and put it into yourself now.

Your self-worth has been all tied up in trying to make him stop with her, trying to make him love you most. You can't control him, though. He's a weak person, and has entangled you in his mess of trying to have two women, but basically shortchanging both of them.

There's nothing wrong with you, and you deserve a man who will put you first, give you 100 percent of his love FREELY, without you having to do anything to make him.[/quote]

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