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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - I could have written this post. We are going through the exact same thing.  I too am feeling hurt and rejected for both myself and DD as I was friends with the moms and DD with the girls. [b] I am not sure what went wrong, and I don't think my DD is perfect, but it is nevertheless hard to watch[/b].  I don't have much to offer except to say that it stinks and you are not alone in feeling a little hurt as well.  I see the moms and I am always courteous but brief and I really like the idea about not speaking about my child at all since really at best they don't care and at worst they are condoning the exclusion or think its somehow justified. I am encouraging playdates with different kids, have suggested some new activities that might build confidence and expose DD to new girls, and bought some fun new games for us to enjoy at home as a family.  I am also hopeful that the silver lining will be that DD will remember EXACTLY how this felt and as a result will be mindful of the feelings of those around her going forward.  [/quote]

OP here, Thanks 13:24. I hope things get better for you and your DD. It's so sad that this is such a common issue. The why and what happened is what baffles me, too.[b] I don't know what went wrong in our case either.[/b] I know my DD isn't perfect either and has things to work on but I don't think she's any different than any other 5th grade girl who is trying to navigate the social scenes and girl dynamics. [/quote]

Most likely, nothing went wrong.  Kids often change interests and friends at this age.  It's normal.

And happily, your DD sounds just fine.  Is she sad or disappointed that she's not included?  I'm sure.  But it's really ok.  She's rolling with it instead of obsessing about it.  That's fantastic!!  It says a lot about her maturity and perspective.

My advice:  follow her lead and you'll be fine, too!  She'll look around and build new friendships.  You can, too.

On that note, this might be a good time for you to branch out more, socially.  Specifically, develop more friendships with adults who are NOT linked to your kids.  This way you have relationships that are independently yours and are not contingent on your children's choices.

Because here's the thing:  the last thing you want is for your DD to feel like she has to worry about YOUR relationships and feelings when she's figuring out and navigating HER friendships!

It's hard enough to be a 10-14 year old kid.  Taking care of your mother's social life is one burden too many.

[/quote]

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