Reply to Messed up with my BIL - help me make it right

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[quote=Anonymous]As someone who once suffered a loss (a child), I can tell you that the first couple weeks are kind of overwhelming with the onslaught of condolences, flowers, cards, etc.  You're still kind of in shock, and then there's a tidal wave of messages coming your way.  I really didn't judge anyone for how they handled the loss with me - some people are more comfortable with that kind of thing than others.  The grief stayed with me much longer after the phone calls and cards stopped.  So I bet he would appreciate it anything from you, no matter the timeline or how late it was.

The important thing is not to make it about you and easing your own anxiety about how you felt you handled it.  Focus on what would be thoughtful and meaningful to him.

Actually, there were two people who really rubbed me the wrong way during that time.  One person actually just wouldn't leave me alone, kept getting upset at me for not talking about it with her. I was never THAT close with her.  And she just kept making everything about her.  And kept telling me depressing story after depressing story about her or her friend, and would not stop.  Or about how my child's spirit kept visiting her and all this other supernatural stuff.  The other person was similar - self absorbed.  Asked briefly about how I was doing, and then went on and on about all her boyfriend troubles and drama.

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