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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But there won't necessarily be two salaries. She'll be giving up her job for the move. Who knows how long it will take to find a job there, and whether it will be any good. She said his salary will be low.

I think there's a ton of underlying sexism that makes people think it sensible for a woman to give up a good-paying job that she likes, give up her friends and local family, and go live somewhere near highly problematic in-laws on less money, just because her husband got a job offer and she has to be the "supportive spouse."

This woman IS a total badass, having a newborn while supporting her family, finishing a PhD, and being there for her clinically depressed husband. She's already a supportive spouse.

I foresee that if they move, MIL will be there, badgering her again to dress traditionally, cook more, and be that traditional wife, and spend every spare minute at family functions, and she'll be without her friends, family, job, academic colleagues. And her husband will very likely see his family's side as being right. Recipe for disaster.[/quote]

I agree OP is a total badass. I disagree that a badass is alone and helpless in the face of badgering in-laws or unable to find a way through a temporarily tough situation.

I don't think people realize how much they undermine themselves by believing there are only two positions of strength: fight or flight. The real strength comes from knowing when those are the only options left. The OP is far from that point.

A 90 minute drive is just long enough to be inconvenient, which is pretty helpful for setting boundaries. She didn't say she's incapable of setting them, she just needs pointers. Calling it a disaster isn't helpful. [/quote]

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