Reply to Two weeks to go and DS is shooting himself in the foot!!

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm surprised that the PP's mentioning teen suicides see the same people egging this mom on to keep up this sick pressure in her kid.  Fuck no.  Just STOP.  Stop stop stop.

You've already acknowledged that it's you're fear of embarrassment that is at least in part driving you.  Get some fucking therapy, lady.  Your kid is not you.  His accomplishments, failures, and choices are not yours, either.

What teens desperately need to hear is that you will love them no matter where or if they go to college.  That they can make a good life and be successful even without college.  (It's true.  Ask your electrician.)

You can be frank with your son and say you feel disappointed that he was so rude and frustrated that he is not as invested in his college applications as you are.  Ask him if he needs anything from you and say you are here to support and help him, but then back off.  Create a space where he can be free of college pressure, even for an hour each night.  ("dinner is no college talk time.")

Kids these days are in s fever pitch of stress about this.  It can be paralyzing for some.  They are so afraid that Each little step can be wrong and can ruin their lives.  Many have never been allowed to fail and lack any resilience.  They are terrified. You needs to dial it down  MANY  many notches and let him figure out his next move.  [/quote]

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