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[quote=Anonymous]You don't have to leave things to him.

Take care of the small things yourself.  Don't announce that you're buying your son boots.  Buy them.  And when he starts an argument over what you bought, just say, "I hear what you are saying, but these are the boots I bought."  And then walk away.

If you don't have time to do something on your own, just say, "Would you order Larlo some boots?"  And then live with what he picks.  If he engages you in a conversation, say, "You can order them or I can order them, but I'm not arguing about it."  And walk away.

You need to make it clear that you are not arguing over this stuff.  He can take care of it.  You can take care of it.  But you are not arguing.  Walk away.  Every time.

But in addition to that, start doing some of this stuff on your own without discussing it with him first.  If/when he gets upset, you say politely and clearly, "if you want to be included in the process, then we need to find a way to do it without arguing.  Your choice.  But I'm not arguing anymore."

You have to be consistent.  And you have to work really hard not to get pulled into the argument.

When he's ready to talk, perhaps you can come up with a system of division of tasks.  If he gets tasked with something, it's his choice.  If you do, it's your choice.  No other input.

For the big things, you still have to engage, but you don't have big decisions on a daily basis, so at least this will eliminate the daily bickering.
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