Reply to What do I tell DS about this party situation?

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Reply to "What do I tell DS about this party situation?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Presumably the reason to mention it to the other mom would be to (1) let her know, politely, that you/your son/her son found out that she excluded your son and then lied about it to her son (assuming that's what happened), and (2) possibly shame her into not doing that next time, preferably by inviting him. These both seem like reasonable goals to me, especially #2. And, what do you have to lose if she is already excluding your kid. I would definitely do it in a polite, "playing dumb" way, like by saying (or emailing) "Hi! It looks like there was some snafu about Larlo's birthday party inviation--DS told me that Larlo told him we had declined the invitation to his party, but unfortunately we didn't get one. Let me give you my email address/address again to make sure you have it."  [/quote]

I would let the entire thing go if it wasn't for the mom lying about it. No way will I let her slide - she hurt my son and I can deal with that - but the fact that she lied and made it look like it was us? No way. I'd almost stoop low enough to let her son know that we never got an invitation. [/quote]

This.  I would send the mom an email asking her not to put you in a situation again in which you look like the bad guy with your own child when she was the one who excluded him.  If she doesn't want to invite your son, fine.  If the bday boy doesn't want to invite your son, fine.  But her lie has put you in a bad position and that's really just unfair to you.[/quote]

This email would make sense if you knew with 100% certainty that this is what happened. But given that you are hearing this third-hand through two children, isn't there at least some possibility that one of them got it wrong? The other mom's son misunderstood what she said, or lied/got it wrong/made something up to try to be polite when talking to your son? Or your son did some combination of those things when talking to you? Because of this uncertainty I would approach it by acknowledging you can't be sure what happened because this is all third-hand, but say her DS told your DS you had been invited but RSVP'd no, and your DS was upset and mad at you for doing that, when in fact you didn't get the invitation. If your son wasn't invited that is fine, but you hope she can understand it was uncomfortable for you have your son see you as "the bad guy" for RSVP'ing no without telling him, and for you to have to explain to him that in fact you didn't get an invitation. [/quote]

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