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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Supporting your spouse who is in grad school"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the suggestions. To answer some questions. He is in dental school. Classes are set by the school so no wiggle room. The classes are hard and he is only one of two members of his class with children. He does not work since he is really not allowed to. He does help out when he can, and feels terrible when he can't. I will take all of the suggestions you guys have made and talk to him about it. I went through law school with an infant. During that time he was the bread winner but I was primary caretaker. I really don't resent him for pursuing his dream, since his dream was on hold until I finished. We are early 30's so he can't really push it back any farther. I love the suggestions and will let you guys know how he responds . [/quote] [b]Notice that you say you were the primary caregiver when you were in law school and he worked. [/b] [/quote] Grad school in your 30's with a family is only feasible when the person going to school can be the default parent for the kids. The setup where you're the primary breadwinner, caregiver and all household tasks also fall on you is going to end badly. Ask around, there are a lot of people who get divorced in grad school, and it's not because their spouses don't love them - it's because the stress is too much. This is not sustainable for 4 months, let alone 4 years. For now, I would focus on getting through the semester and having a serious talk over winter break. Be very honest about how you are feeling. If he's going to quit, it's better to do it now than when he's accrued more dental school debt. The arrangement you describe is not sustainable. - signed, a grad student with a spouse and 2 kids [/quote]
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