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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I need help. My DH recently started graduate school. Although he started in August, I have been mentally preparing to be the primary caretaker of the children for a while.  Since he started, I have done all of the drop off and pick ups and all extracurricular activities for both kids (violin, soccer, girlscouts etc. ). I have complained to him that I am tired, and honestly some days I am. My husband does help when he can, but I don't put much pressure on him. In my prior life I would complain about dirty dishes, laundry etc, but now, I let it go.[b] Today he reached out to tell me that he isn't doing well in his classes, and needs a better study routine. I read that as he needs more time for school.[/b] Honestly, I don't know how to respond and I don't know what else I can give. I am truly giving 110% in every aspect of our lives. I am the sole bread winner, sole caretaker, manage the finances etc etc. I am so bad at responses that I don't know what to say. I don't need help for me, I need help on how I can support him in his time of need, when I'm already maxed out.[/quote]

Take him at his word.  A friend was in a similar situation - her husband had to adjust his study habits.  For example, they would agree that he would study from 1-5 on Saturday afternoon.   So she would make plans to get the kids out of the house so he could have complete peace and quiet.  He would dick around, and maybe study for an hour of that time instead of the full four hours.  So then he was down 3 hours of study time.  He would end up staying up late and night, and then be "too tired" to pull his weight at home.

Be honest - you can't do anymore.  Ask him to be honest - if he sets aside time for studying, is he really studying during that time?  He can't study like a single person with no kids.[/quote]

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