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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, I just read your post after posting  myself. Interesting that I was thinking about how I SHOULD try to figure out how to contact the parents since I would want to know as a parent myself...and also to relieve my DD of the burden. But I get your point...thanks.[/quote]

I'm PP. I understand the impulse, and I'm conflicted about this sort of thing myself too. As a parent, I would ABSOLUTELY want to know and I would do anything, literally anything, to help my kids if they were in that kind of distress. Most parents would, and most parents would genuinely try to do the right things. But unfortunately there's no way to know if the roommate's parents would be helpful, would be genuinely well-meaning but unintentionally harmful in the situation, or are actually a part of the problem and would actively make things worse. There's really no good way to know what the right choice is here. Maybe my personal experience is biasing me against the sensible choice to attempt to contact the parents... I could be the one who's wrong here. Just something to think about.

Anyway, I would tell DD to stop visiting except maybe once per week. Just stop, period. Then, inform the RA, the student health center or counseling center, and the dean of students of a) what happened, b) what DD has been doing to support the roommate, c) what other support the roommate seems to have, and d) the fact that DD is now DONE being at all responsible for this. From here on out, school authorities need to deal with it. That's very specific and it leaves no room for anyone to put more pressure on your DD to handle something that's not her responsibility or something she's even equipped to handle.[/quote]

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