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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
The roommate's daughter is likely still a dependent of her parents.  It is likely that her health insurance is based on her parents' employment.  The way health insurance is now, I would be surprised if she didn't have to jump through some network or copay, etc. hoops.  I am sure some kind of letter from the health insurance company is forthcoming to her home address.  At least that is how it would work in my case.  I would see that correspondence and wonder what it was.  I might call my daughter/son and ask to open it.  I might then understand that he/she is not at the dormitory.  Etc., etc.  Now, if she has health insurance through the school, it might be different.  I don't know.

In any case, I think the parents are going to know sooner or later.  They should be the primary support for her because they are already in that position, not your DD.

I would not feel badly about somehow getting this message to them a bit sooner.  Maybe through a third party if you feel uncomfortable.  Maybe the parents could visit the school, find her absent, be alarmed, and ask where she is.  Would the school withhold the information?   
 [/quote]

Okay... weighing in as a current parent of one college student and one recent college graduate, as well as a person who was depressed throughout college and almost suicidal (frequent thoughts/plans but never attempted anything)... this is frightening to read. PLEASE do not be the one, as an outsider in the situation, to decide who needs to know what about the roommate's medical situation. If there's procedures for reporting this at the college, OP's DD needs to follow those because she is not equipped to deal with this nor is it fair to her to expect her to. However, to involve the roommate's parents against her wishes is completely different. That's not just following an established procedure to make sure that the responsibility of dealing with a bad situation falls to someone able to take it on and not on the shoulders of someone who shouldn't have to deal with it, it's active meddling. It could also make the situation much, much worse.

Someone telling my parents what was going on would likely have been the straw that pushed me from discreetly getting therapy without going through my parents' insurance that they thought I was still on but which I only ever used for "expected" expenses to hide the fact that I'd obtained my own, and being mostly successful at fighting to resist doing anything active, to attempting self-harm or worse. Them finding out anything about the situation would have been... bad. The roommate might be somewhat safer if she's been hospitalized, but involving the parents was clearly something she was avoiding and possibly for a reason. It could be her worst-case scenario. OP needs to protect their DD and get her out of the situation before she's in over her head, absolutely, but do not do that to someone who's already struggling.[/quote]

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