Reply to Help Needed for 12 YO - Out of Control/Defiant

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[quote=Anonymous]I posted a few times in the other thread, but I just wanted to offer you support, OP. I have been through something similar (huge change in personality and behavior of teen). In our case, it was severe anxiety (and growing depression) and some undiagnosed learning issues. All very intensely exacerbated by hormones.

Keep on throwing everything you can at it. If my DS wouldn't go to therapy, I'd go. (I had to pay anyway.) We got neuropsych testing, I took a Dr. Shapiro class on parenting challenging teens. I read every book I could get my hands on (if you haven't read, Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy, I highly recommend), switched therapists and psychiatrists several times until we found a decent fit. It gave me some sense that I was at least doing everything I could. Things are better with the right meds cocktail, but we will never be where we thought we would be with him. It took me a long time to get over that.

What is his history like? Is this a HUGE departure from norm for him? Did it come on gradually? Suddenly? For my DS, there was a history of anxiety which seemed to have resolved, but in hindsight, there were subtle indications that things were not ok, but I didn't really see until they were VERY MUCH not ok.

I recommend Rathbone and Associates for therapy, if you want a new recommendation. They also have a program called DBT which is intensive, but if you can get your DS to buy into it, has been very successful.

On getting him to go, bribe, trick and take away anything you can. Getting him to therapy and psychiatry is priority no. 1!

And if I could do anything differently, I would have had a therapist just for me. Because this is so, so hard and it affected the way I parent my other kids as well and I really could have used some help with that.[/quote]

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