Reply to When did divorces start happening in your circle?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We've actually had no divorces in our group of ten couples. No one rushed into marriage and we all got married after completing our graduate education.  Interestingly,[b] we all had parents that never divorced.[/b] [/quote]

I've read that if your parents divorced, you have a higher chance of divorce in your own marriage.  Not sure if that claim still stands. [/quote]

I'm not sure but I think it does still stand; I think the explanation I heard is like this:

- if your parent's stayed married, it's likely because they had good emotional intelligence, and were attracted to others like themselves.
- they modelled a healthy relationship for you as a child.
- you were drawn to people like your parents (most of us are) so you are drawn to emotionally intelligent and healthy people - you are repelled from unhealthy people.
- you know how to have a healthy relationship because it's what you grew up watching

This is a positive feedback loop.  For people with FOOs with divorce, the same "positive feedback" loop exists, except it's pointing in the wrong direction.

Divorce is an effect, not a cause.[/quote]

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