Reply to 1st grader turning down birthday party invites

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]It's making friendships into obligations, and time with friends into yet another required commitment to do no matter how you feel about it. I don't think most people would want a kid to come to their party because he feels like he has to -- it would just be awkward and not particularly fun for anyone. Personally, I'm trying to instill in my kids the difference between a friendship and a social obligation (yes, I acknowledge that both exist but for young kids there are relatively few true social obligations) and I doubt they would want either obligatory invitations or obligatory acceptances.[/quote]

Friendships DO entail social obligations, though.  My best friend, who I adore, was hosting a fundraiser for a charity she really cares about this weekend.  Did I feel like driving an hour to Maryland to attend this event.  No.  Did I do it anyway because I love my friend and I support her?  Of course.[/quote]

I'm the PP you quoted. That's not an obligation. Based on what you wrote above, no one required you to do that or put you in a situation you couldn't refuse. You weighed the options and decided to attend the event because something about it (likely time with the friend and investing in that relationship) was worth it to you. That's friendship. Totally different from an authority figure *insisting* you attend the event when maybe you didn't care that much about the particular person organizing it; in that situation your attendance would be meaningless and you would likely resent it.[/quote]

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