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[quote=Anonymous]
The myth of the power couple? I've seen young people match up and put out this vibe. The trick is the woman is supposed to be accomplished enough to brag about, but still clearly outranked by her partner.

I've seen this with lobbyists and Hill couples. It gets tricky with people of color. I'm thinking of a head of school who went through a number of girlfriends, each of whom seemed suitable in terms of position but outranked him by either salary or prestige. For example, a woman finishing her Ph.D., law student, etc. It was fine until these women entered their professions. Then, he was done. He claimed to respect strong, successful women, but the pattern showed otherwise.

There's a blog for black female doctoral students. A post discussed this at length, how hard it is finding a (black) man who was actually cool with partnering with a (black) woman with that level of education.

I'd marry a plumber in a minute! But, would he be okay with me and my books? The blog post talked about how men may seem to embrace it at first, but start at the negging and some sort of jockeying for power before long.

So sad. I wonder if something like this is at work in the relationships of the women you describe?

I think it works when each person is strong in their own separate field. Maybe? Amal (the example a pp gave) found someone who is far outside her area of expertise. Accomplished and unintimidated because the measures are so different. I don't know. A fabulously successful friend in law and finance found a husband late in life. He was much older and from a very different ethnic community. They seem happy.

Ugh, I get such a headache thinking that it's somehow a punishment to be successful. Everyone I know with an Art History degree is married. Is that another piece of the puzzle? A "feminine" field is acceptable?[/quote]

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