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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex SIL is having a baby and I was sent an invitation for the shower. I've pretty much have avoided my ex's family since our divorce. My ex had an affair and ended up marrying his AP. I don't have any issues with his sister or anyone else in the family, but I do try to avoid my ex and his wife. Should I attend the shower or just mail a gift?[/quote]

Were you invited solo or was it for you and your daughter?  She may want the niece there and felt she had to invite you as well (since you say you haven't had a close relationship since the divorce).  I would see about having the stepmother or grandmother bringing your daughter if she was invited with  gift from the two of you.[/quote]

The invitation was sent to both of us.[/quote]

You have to go. This is one of these things we do for our children: make sure they have other relatives in their lives.

If you want to help SIL and your daughter spend a little quality time together, I would consider asking SIL if you and daughter can show up early and "help set up" as you have to leave early because of a conflict. This way you foster that relationship but minimize the time you will be with AP.[/quote]
This. Is it possible they just invited you since they wanted DD there, and didn't want to piss you off for not being invited. It's just weird that they would want you there, considering the situation. Just a thought.

I wholeheartedly disagree with this, PP.

As others have said, OP...send a warm, kind, sincere note and gift with the promise that you'll be by to visit postpartum.  That's it.  I'd stay away from the shower and be damn sure to keep my DD away, too.  No way.  [/quote][/quote]

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