Reply to I've stopped caring but after a blowup should I just walk away?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I've stopped caring but after a blowup should I just walk away?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op - my father was like your husband.  Would at times come home and blow up over nothing and then scream at us and our mother.  Break things.  Tell us that he wanted to leave or die b/c he was miserable.  And not just a one-time thing.  Multiple times.  To the point that we would all cringe when we heard the garage door opening at night b/c we didn't know whether "good" or "evil" side of him would enter the house.

Siblings and I have NEVER forgotten any of those episodes. And despite that the fact parents stayed together, it forever colored how we viewed him, even after his retirement when he mellowed out considerably.  Now that he's gone, those memories still live on.  Unfortunately.

Food for thought.  My sympathies, OP.[/quote]

As an adult you should at least have some compassion for him sticking around and supporting all of you which is more than some relatives we've had have done.[/quote]

Uh....no. "Sticking around" doesn't excuse abuse. Money doesn't excuse abuse. Saying "at least I support you" is a common abuse tactic to get the victim to stay.

Most kids in that situation would prefer the abuser to bail, even if it means being poor. [/quote]

+1000.  It's such a common thing for abusers and people who've never experienced this kind of behavior to stay.  "Oh at least I/they stuck around, oh at least I/they paid the bills" (although in my dad's case, he didn't pay the bills, my mom did, he blew his paycheck plus some on fun stuff for himself).  100% would have been easier on everyone (and more financially stable) had my dad left and my parents gotten divorced.  And we'd likely have a better relationship now that he's mellowed in his old age as I wouldn't have so many awful memories of him terrorizing all of us. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics